Sex shop review: Basics with Closure

It was a slow day for Closure. A significant number of operators were busy in the field, a lot more in the production base, and even more preparing for the next edition of AS. The vampire keeps looking at her screen, monitoring the ship's tech, slumped over her shop's counter. Sometimes an order would come, and she'd lazily deal with it with a swipe and a drone.

She quickly jolts awake as the door of her place slides open, revealing a trio of operators coming in. Saga, Matoimaru, and Akafuyu.

"Hello! What can I get you, girls?" she asks as she bounces back up, expecting as usual to follow them to the armory or the snacks sections. But, to her surprise, they made a beeline towards her instead.

"Hello!" Announces Saga in her peppy, loud voice as she reaches the vampire first. "If thou would be so kind, could ye lead us to the kinky section?"

"To the what?" Closure asks, unsure of what she heard.

"Pardon me, doth thou not have a kinky section in the shop? Hath my info been proven false?"

"No, no, the procurement department DOES have that section, but..."

Closure looks at the other two, confused. Matoimaru shrugs.

"We're with her, don't ask us." Akafuyu answers.

"Isn't a monk... Not supposed to look for things like that?"

"Isn't a Vampire not supposed to drink motor oil for her own sustenance?" Akafuyu rolls her eyes.

"Isn't a nearsighted person supposed to wear her corrective glasses at all times?" Closure counters.

"Okay bitch," answers a very irritated crab as she goes up in the Vampire's face. "Wanna see what I can do without glasses? Me. You. Super Crash Sisters. No items. Ingrid only. Final Destina..."

"Pardon me, fair ladies, but methink you shan't fight over matters so trivial. Better to strive above them." Saga interrupts her friend with a smile.

"Okay, okay, my b." Akafuyu yields.

"Okay then. Back to the matter at hand," Closure continues, backing off herself. "The kinky section? Why? I thought you genuinely don't roll with things like these, being a woman of faith and all."

"Thou are mistaken, lady of the machines." Saga answers. "I was but a guest of the temple since my youth. I may clad myself in the dress of my fellow monks, follow their training, and respect their teachings, but I remain a stranger to the religion. After all..." she pulls out her phone, showcasing her playlist. "Many of the sights of the modern world have yet to reach my temple. And yet, here they are, safely treasured in an item all my own, and I eagerly hunt for what else hath beauty in this world."

"Lady of the machines? Who do you think I am? An Arts: The Gathering commander?" Closure cringes to herself, barely stopping herself from raising an eyebrow, before saying: "Of all the things to call beautiful, I didn't expect sex to feature in your vision..."

"Why not? Is it not sharing laughter and pleasure between two or more consenting people? Or maybe loving oneself in ways that one another cannot yet offer you?"

Closure nods. "That's one way to look at it. I prefer the other way."

"Which is?"

"The capitalist way. I Don't care much about sex, I prefer the cold hard cash it earns me."

"Ah, yes. Money. Your second biggest love after Rhodes Island. The reason you've never managed to have a relationship last for over a month." Akafuyu starts.

"And also why most operators prefer to stock up on condoms elsewhere rather than buy them from you and get eaten alive by the rumor mill." Matoimaru counters. "Sell people kinky stuff, joke about it later in the open, get that sargonian telephone going..."

"Until Kal kicked your ass for it publicly." Akafuyu finishes with a smug smile.

"Okay. Are you here to mock my past choices or here to fucking BUY SOMETHING?" Closure bellows, angry at the higashians, cutting Saga's clear attempt to stop her friends' roast.

"I would love to peruse your offers, if thou would let me!" Saga turns around to Closure, wagging her tail happily.

"Well, in that case..."

A few steps later, the four of them enter through a door on the left side of the shop, to an area filled with explicit material.

"Okay. First of all, are you looking for anything specific?" Closure starts.

"Nae, I'm but looking around and discovering." Saga answers, looking up a shelf? "What is this?" she asks, pointing at a set of rings.

"Oh, that's tail rings. Intended to be put on the base of some races's tail for... You know. Arousal."

"OOOOOH!!! THAT!!!" Saga answers, her eyes lighting up. "I've had that moment when I accidentally pinched my tail's base while putting on my weights, and it felt super good! I wonder if it's that?"

"Your what?"

"Oh, it's part of my temple's regiment. I'm wearing a set of weights under my robes." Saga answers to the three ladies in front of her. "One on my nethers, one on my waist, and one on each thigh. They are quite heavy."

"Wait, you never told me! That's SO COOL!!!" Matoimaru answers.

"More like so dumb." Closure and Akafuyu counter. "Still... That does raise an important point," Closure realizes. "Miss Saga, I'm guessing you never... You know... Flicked the bean?"

"Why would I do that? They are so adorable and squishy! Even though Nian's bean is a mischievous little rascal. It always steals from my rice bowl!"

"Wrong bean, girl." Matoimaru giggles, before leaning in and whispering in the Shiba's ear, causing her to blush a bit.

"... No, I did not," Saga admits. "Never did anything arousing on purpose. But that doesn't mean that I can't try! As long as I'm hurting no one, what is wrong in discovering more about the world?"

"In that case, let's show you the more... Beginner things. We'll get to the more extreme things an other time. How about that?"

"Oh, I am in thy debt, lady Closure!" Saga answers, earning herself a light tap on the back of the head by the crab.

"Remember that she's here mostly to get your money."

"And that's why I called upon thine and Matoi's help!"

Akafuyu giggles and yields, as Closure brings them a few chairs, then moves around the place, gathering items for them. While her friends do sit down, Saga couldn't stay still, walking around and looking all over the place, fascinated. Picking up boxes at random, getting confused at a number of them. Then she sees the sex swing and beelines towards it, slowly pushing herself back and forth on it. Her eyes light up with curiosity as she notices something mid swing, but as she moves towards it, the shopkeeper's voice rings around. "I'm ready!" That's all it takes for the perro to return to her chair and sit down on it, happily fidgeting as Closure gathers boxes around her and deploys a table.

"So. I will go by type of toys. And I'm avoiding the "couple only" things for now. Get yourself someone, and I'll make you two a deal."

"But why not buy things in advance, to use with a future loved one?" Saga asks.

"You have no guarantee your boyfriend would like it, you know." Matoi quickly answers, shutting down the vampire's attempt at selling her wares. "Or girlfriend. I still don't know what side you swing towards." She remarks.

"Both? I've seen people that are quite attractive here. Men, women... And I still don't know how to ask that Aegir about their gender without risking their ire."

"MizukI?" Akafuyu giggles as Closure quickly programs Lambda to go fetch her some more items, before she clears her throat, bringing her customers' attention back to herself.

"So." Closure starts a sales pitch with a basic. "First, and I don't believe I'm gonna say this, first thing to do is to... You know, learn about your body? Touch yourself? See what makes you feel good... God I feel so awkward saying that. Anyways. In short, there's several types of toys to spice up one's sex life. I kept out those that feature mostly in a couple's bedroom, so these boxes right here are full of stuff designed mostly for self pleasure or self care."

She starts by pulling out a simple wand, eliciting Matoimaru and Akafuyu's attention. "I trust you're aware of this one? Quite popular in Higashi, I believe."

"Of course! I've been using one for ages! Works amazingly to massage the joints after training." the crab answers.

"How sexually inactive are you three." Closure remarks, deadpan. "Anyways. While it was made for the joints, that's not where it gets aimed these days. Let's just say that if you aim it... Down there, you'll absolutely feel the vibrations."

"...On the Va-jay-jay?" Saga asks.

Closure looks at the doggo in silence, trying to answer her. She quickly gives up, going back to her sales pitch. "Anyways, that one is the basic one. We've got more: different shapes, different designs based on the local races..."

"And how does that change things?" the perro inquires again.

"So your sexual experience is indeed zero. Thanks for answering my former question. Still, there are subtle but real differences between the races of Terra, so when a toy is made, it's either a generic looking one, a specially designed one to increase the pleasure, like bubble shapes or the like, or based on a specific race's morphology. And for these, it's pretty much a matter of taste. You'll understand when you'll actually TRY." Closure explains, slowly getting flustered. "ANYWAYS. Different races do have subtle changes between... Gear, let's say. That's why the selection is so bloody expansive: I need to account for the Kuranta riders, the Sarkaz demons, the angels' sidearms, the ... Please don't look at me like that, you two, I'm not the one that names these... Okay, listen, while prejudice is mostly aimed at the Sarkaz these days, let's say there's some, well, conventions, when this shit is unfortunately alive and well. I wish it was not that way, but..." Closure shrugs off the judgemental look Akafuyu and Matoi gave her. "I mean, some motherfucker decided to name the double stimulators like these the rabbit, and everyone rolled with it to this day. And that toy came from Rim Bulliton! Anyways, it's an other type of sex toy if you want to check it out too, Saga."

Closure pulls out a rabbit from the box, turning it on and giving it to the Perro, who puts it on her nose, giggling: "It's so wobbly!"

"That's the point, you know." Matoi answers her. "It needs to fit well and be comfy inside you while it... You know."

"Oh! Doth thou per chance use such an item?"

"I'd rather not disclose that info in front of her." the oni answers.

"My ears work fine, you know." Closure remarks, having taken the time Saga was fiddling with the rabbit to set up the toys around the display table, hidden behind the boxes they were carried in.

"Anyways, next, we have vibrating toys that are tail shaped." The sales pitch continues, as Closure pulls out a toy looking very closely like the Perro's tail, followed by a few more items, each shaped like a different specie's appendage. "These don't sell as much as the former, because they're kinda misunderstood. You see, they are supposed to be used mostly to simulate a tailjob for people who can't really get that experience: Oni, Aegir, Archosaurias, Ursus, cautus, people like you with a tail too short for personal stimulation, the works. However, a lot of people use them for buttplay, even though they aren't designed for that purpose usually, and despite the obvious unwelcome undertones of such a thing. To add, the flared bases get in the way for several species. Some are brush like, both to mimic the feeling of a tailjob and more deep stimulation at the same time. A few are now designed to go in both holes with no issues because of the aforementioned mishaps. Some also have adjustable bases or sizes to mimic how some tails act during sex. For example..." Closure pulls out the last toy from her box, which shape got very close to a certain operator's appendage. "Here's the dragon tail. Flared base, adjustable length and girth, swappable tips, orgasms guaranteed! A very popular item, especially with the Rhine labs, LGD and ex-reunion operators for some reason. It even comes with different tips to mimic those of dracos, or the option to get more girth during the act to mimic a draco's tail during arousal. If you're getting that, PLEASE promise me you'll never use that option until you know what you're doing. That's an injury no one should be subjected to. Guess onis aren't built THAT different."

"I will elect to ignore what you just said, unless that info leaves the room, in which case I'm dragging Homie-guma here. PERSONALLY."

"Chill, miss Matoimaru, I didn't mean her. I doubt Ch'en would recognize an orgasm if it shot her in the face."

"More like came on her face, am I right?"

A deep silence falls on the room, as a confused Perro, a surprised oni, and a shocked Sarkaz looked at the Aegir.

"What the actual fuck Akafuyu KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF THANKS!!!" Matoimaru finally breaks the silence.

"I have no understanding of what thou meant, friend." Saga continued.

"Keep it that way, girl." Closure and Matoi both bellow.

"ANYWAYS!!!" Closure cuts, "Let's change the subject before Ch'en makes sashimi out of us. As we're here for education, I brought a small thing for our oni friend here." She pulls out a set of weird looking ropes with small spheres on them, looking like Icefield day decorations. "These are horn stimulants. It's not common, but there are some people that can experience arousal from their horns being touched the same way you would a penis or a tail. These are designed to wrap around a horn and slowly vibrate, giving pleasure. They are designed like this to be usable by all involved, regardless of species. There do exist toys like these for fluffy ears, but I don't have them on stock anymore." She looks at Matoimaru. "Interested, miss?"

"If thou desire these, it would be a pleasure to get them for you as a gift!" Saga offers the blushing oni.

"No thanks, Saga, I will pass." Matoi answers.

"Wait, you didn't tell us. Why don't you bring the ear stimulants anymore?" Akafuyu answers.

"... Ceobe. She snuck inside a delivery container, mistook the label of a box of these toys for that of a Perro snack, and yoinked it alongside other snacks. That was NOT a fun conversation to have with Vulkan. Next..." Closure pulls out rubbery looking rings with small rigid plastic bits attached. "Horns get stimulants, tails get rings. You did tell us you liked it when your tail's base gets pinched? Same deal here. These are worn on the tail's base, and constrict, vibrate or both. And the base is adjustable, so Perros like you or felines with tails as bushy as Santalla or as thick as Harmonie can have their fun safely too! Some even orgasm from just that, but I can't vouch for it myself. My tail isn't that sensitive. As you're very likely to enjoy it, you get a discount if you get the basic Perro one. On the house!"

"Thank you miss Closure!" Saga answers.

"And so...," the vampire concludes, "We're done here. There are some more specialized toys around, but they are mostly for more..." She ponders whether to discuss BDSM with the perro, before stopping herself, dismissing the items Lambda carried to her. "Let's say you'll need to know your sexual needs inside and out before you venture into that world, Saga."

"Understood! I am in your debt, miss Closure!" Saga nods.

"Not the sentence I'd use." Akafuyu remarks.

"So. Want anything?" Closure continues, flashing a greedy smile.

"Excuse me, there was something I noticed as thou gathered the items. Behind you on the left, there was a rack full of outfits of all shapes and colors ... Can I see them?"

"Sure, follow me!" Closure leads them to the area. "I honestly forgot about these, and you could argue they are mostly for roleplay, but I can see you liking some."

"So many uniforms!" Saga as they arrive, rummaging through, marvelling at it all. "Wait." she wonders, holding a firefighter outfit "Is that not the outfit miss Shaw's squad wears for work?"

"Yes, and?"

"Why is it seen as sexy?"

"... I can't believe I'm teaching this to an almost 30 year old woman, but here we go." Closure laughs. "There are some people that find different uniforms, different looks, or different jobs exciting. They love to roleplay a scenario where they or a partner pretend to be a profession that wears this look, ending with sex. Arrested by a corrupt cop, saved by a firefighter, checked for diseases by a doctor... All make believe and scenarios designed to arouse each other in the bedroom. And they are fairly popular. See these maid outfits? There's a couple on the landship who bought at least different ones from me. I won't say who, I still want to live."

"But they look... Normal?" Saga wonders, still holding the Lungmen firefighter uniform.

"The fitting room is right behind you. Put it on, and you'll understand."

"Okay!" Saga nods, taking the costume with her. The three ladies wait for her, only to be shocked by a few loud thuds rocking the shop. A few more minutes later, Saga emerges, the deep cleavage of the costume now plain visible to her. Her friends noticed something else too, left in the fitting room: her weights.

"Freaking Yan, I see now why the car eats so much gas when you go inside, Saga." the aegir remarks, making her way to the room and painfully lifting one of the weights the perro just stripped off herself.

"I feel it a bit too exposed for me...," the Perro blushes slightly as she looks in the mirror, "But I understand what you meant now. Mistress Closure, can I perchance try more outfits?"

"Go ahead!" The vampire smiles.

For a few more minutes, Saga tried it all. Columbian Policeman, Bolivar Soldier, Sargonian princess, and a few more. She clearly enjoyed dressing up, even if the clothes were not to her taste.

"Anything else?" she asks Closure as she looks at herself in a sweet gelateria Lateran outfit.

"A couple of Higashi specific outfits and... Bunny Suits." She pulls out a Higashian highschool uniform, causing the Perro's eyes to light up with happiness and confusion.

"But... Isn't this a school uniform?"

"It is, why?"

"I love these, I always wanted to wear them, but I didn't think they would be sold here?"

"Oh, these are adult sized. Remember the roleplay thing? Some want to relive when they didn't have to care about taxes or bills or work. Simpler times."

"I'd love to try it on! But before, what are bunny suits?"

"These." Closure sneaks inside the BDSM room, and pulls out a mannequin already dressed in one.

"Oh, I've seen these before. I don't like them. They feel... Tacky. Inhabited by the demons of modernity my master at the temple warned me about."

"Oh, trust me, you have no idea how accurate that statement is. This used to be a symbol of resistance. Trust me, ask operator Coldshot about that story, it's a part of history I wish more people knew of."

"I will!" Saga answers, wagging her tail as she snuck inside the fitting room one last time, holding the higashian outfit.

A few minutes later, the perro left with her friends, a large smile on her face, her tail wagging happily, and a tail ring, a wonder wand, and a schoolgirl uniform in her hands.